Hey Baby Doll

Last night while managing, I was sitting at the bar just watching the bartenders serve the patrons. This guy walks up to the bar next to me (he, of course, has no idea that I work there) and tries to get the female bartender’s attention. He kept sticking his hand out for one second and saying “Hey baby doll!”

WHAT? Baby doll? What a creepy thing to say! Unless this was an old man talking to his granddaughter who he gave the nickname baby doll too, this is not acceptable. babydoll

I am sure he thought this sounded sweet and enticing, but I am here to tell everybody that IT ABSOLUTELY IS NOT. I kind of chuckled as I watched his failed attempt at getting the female bartender’s attention. Being called baby doll scared her away more than it drew her in, I’m sure.

Babydoll, sugarplum, pumpkin, or any other pet name you give your girlfriend is NOT okay to use to get a beer. It is almost taken as a derogatory term. Your bartender is not aspiring to be your next girlfriend; just call her “hey” like everybody else. MAYBE, just maybe, you could even ask her name!

Just stick your card or money out there or just maybe hold your hand out a little bit. Your bartender will make his or her way to you as soon as the he or she gets a chance.

Please, for the love of all vodka, do not think that your bartender thinks you are sweet because you call her baby doll. She is more likely to think you are a child molester with a creepy mustache. Gross.

The Drink Recipe Your Bartender Has Never Heard Of

If your favorite drink is the drink that your best friend’s mom’s boyfriend’s daughter made up and named herself, please do not be surprised when your bartender has never heard of it before.

Last night as I was working, a person ordered a drink from me called a Blonde Barbie. When I asked her what was in a Blonde Barbie, the patron said, “You’ve never heard of a Blonde Barbie? Who taught you how to bartend?” 

…think for a minute how many made up recipes there are in this world. There is no way your bartender will automatically know them all. It is not like there is a drink recipe database in your bartender’s brain that updates every hour with the most recent made up drink recipes. There is no ‘What’s Hot’ category or ‘Alphabetical Listing’ for your bartender to mentally search. Although, that would be amazing.

Most bartenders love learning how to make new drinks, and would probably love to know how to you make your version of a Blonde Barbie. When you go to order it, however, please realize that if it is a drink that isn’t commonly known, your bartender may not know how to make it. Do not look at him or her funny, have a bad attitude, or sulk in sadness because your favorite drink is never going to replace the Cosmopolitan. If the bartender does not know how to make the drink, TELL THEM HOW TO MAKE IT. Odds are, the next time you go to that bar, the bartender will make you your Blonde Barbie before you even ask for it.

If you do have an attitude, the next time you go into that bar, you may be presented with this: barbie

Seven Rules to Barroom Etiquette

 I think the best way to start out this blog is by laying down some house rules. Below, I have listed the top 7 rules of barroom etiquette. READ, MEMORIZE, and FOLLOW, or else your bartender will despise you and mentally plan revenge.

  1. Tip your bartender– Most service industry workers do not get paid by the hour, including bartenders. If they do, the rate is not much. Bartenders are paid with the tips of their patrons. In South Louisiana, an acceptable tip for a good server or bartender is twenty percent. If paying cash, it is a good idea to tip after buying each round of drinks. Although the tip will still be appreciated if you save it for the end of the night, your bartender may think you are stiffing (or refraining from tipping) him or her throughout the night. Tipping after each round will ensure a happy bartender and prompt service.
  2. Quit asking for free drinks– Everybody wants them, but no you cannot have them. Unless the bartender owns the bar, which is highly unlikely, the bartender has a running tab just like you do. If your bartender gives you a free drink, it is because he or she is BUYING you a drink. Sure, if you are a regular, if it’s your birthday, or if you’re just an awesome person, your bartender would probably love to buy you a drink. When they do, consider yourself the coolest person in the bar and then TIP them! 🙂 If you walk into a bar for the first time and ask for a free drink, do yourself a favor and just leave. Your bartender now thinks you are a cheap person who will not tip, and will be sure not to let an extra drop of liquor fall into your cocktail.
  3. The bartender does not care if you know the owner– Everybody else knows him too, and you are still not getting a free drink.
  4. You cannot start a tab without a card– Unless you are the bartender’s best friend, he or she does not know you from Adam. Often times, people get aggravated when they have to hand their card over to the bartender to save their tab. Without your card, your bartender is likely hanging on to false hope that you are going to come back and pay for your drinks. Let’s face it, not everybody is as honest as Abe. If you would like to keep your card to yourself, pay for your drinks with cash.
  5. Don’t ask what’s good– Everybody has different taste buds and likes different things. I have no idea what you like to drink, and neither does any other bartender. Instead, maybe ask to see the drink menu or if the bartender recommends a drink with _________. (fill in the blank with your personal preference of liquor)
  6. Don’t tell your bartender to smile– I get it, you want to see my pearly whites; however, I’m not at your desk demanding smiles out of you all day. Bartenders live a busy life just like every one of you do. Sometimes it’s hard to remain jolly at all times. Plus, I think it would look like I had a mental disorder or did some serious drugs if I smiled as much as patrons ask me to. If you want your bartender to smile, SAY SOMETHING FUNNY! That will usually do the trick.
  7. Don’t clutter the bar– If you are in a nightclub, there are 30 people behind you waiting for a drink, and you already have your drink, please stop using the bar as an arm rest. Your bartender will hate you and want to spray the soda gun in your hair until you move. By blocking the bar, you are preventing others from buying drinks; this means less money for the bartender. You are in a nightclub; GO DANCE.

After all, going out for a drink is supposed to be fun! I do not want to scare anybody away from bars with these rules, but they are important to follow. These rules ensure a happy bartender, and therefore, happy patrons.